Inside the Envelope

Below is just a taste of what to expect to find inside each month's envelope - a sample letter, and example questions. <3

+ Read a sample letter

I can remember the moment I realized the baggage I was carrying from my past disappointments. How some things from so long ago – even as far back as my early childhood – were still determining how I lived my life. Before then, I was totally unaware of how much disappointment had changed me – and sadly, it wasn't for the better.

That's the thing about it though... it doesn't matter if it was something expected, if it was something big, or something that probably shouldn't have mattered as much as it did — disappointment's letdown will always find a way to land, whether we choose to see it or not.

And we all know the taste of disappointment. The thing we hoped for that didn't happen. The person we counted on that let us down. The version of our lives we had imagined for ourselves that turned out to be nothing like our reality. Disappointment comes in many forms and none of us have the luxury of avoiding it.

So, the question we must ask ourselves is –
What will I do when it arrives at my doorstep again?

Looking at how you’ve responded to disappointment before, can give you some idea of how you might respond to disappointment down the road. From what I’ve seen, most of us respond in one of two ways:
1. We shake it off quickly, telling ourselves “we're fine” – when in reality, we’re just letting apathy set in.
2. We let it consume us and reshape how we view ourselves and our worth. We let it change how we engage in relationships and perhaps we even let it steal the light from our eyes altogether.

Both responses make complete sense, but neither one is the answer. Because disappointment that doesn't get processed in a healthy way turns us into someone else. It shows up as the guardedness that keeps people at arm's length, the cynicism that mistakes itself for wisdom, the quiet shrinking of what you're willing to want because wanting feels like too much of a risk now. You stop hoping. You stop letting yourself get too excited about things. You keep your feelings to yourself. You tell yourself you're being realistic, and maybe sometimes you are – but sometimes you're just robbing yourself of life.

But there is another way… A harder way, yes. It’s the one where we sit with each disappointment and intentionally let the wave of emotions move through us. We don’t run from it, but we let it shape us in a different way.

What I mean is this: disappointment carries real information that can help us along in life. When something lets you down, it tells you what you really cared about, what you were hoping for, what you believed was possible. So, instead of viewing unrealistic expectations as a judgment on who you are, take it as an opportunity to grow. To become more aware of your expectations, ensuring that you have healthy and realistic ones that match the reality of each situation. Instead of becoming apathetic and withholding your care (to prioritize self-preservation), learn how to better guard your heart with healthy boundaries - not walls - and seek wisdom to know when it's wise to let your guard down. And instead of throwing optimism in the trash, learn to grow an equal awareness of the likely outcomes - so you aren't surprised when reality doesn't measure up to what you dreamed.

Instead of being an uncontrolled wave of emotion, breathe, and ask yourself: was I expecting more than what was reasonable? Did I put my trust in someone who did not earn it? Is this pain evidence that my hopes were foolish – or is it just evidence that the answer is "no" for right now? And so on...

Ultimately, we want to become people who can look at their disappointment clearly, endure it without being consumed by it, and actually grow from it. My hope is if you've had your spirit crushed in any areas of your life, that you'll begin to breathe life into them again. That you'll cling once more to hope — not because it pretends things don't hurt, but because it understands that we are not perfect, and neither is anyone around us. And even so, there is still so much good to be found.

One thing that can really help, is establishing your life on something that disappointment can't touch. For me, that's my faith — the confidence in knowing that what I can see in front of me is never the complete picture, and that God holds it all together, even when circumstances seem to be falling apart. It serves us best when we build our lives on what’s unshakeable.

And one last thing that we can't forget – how we let disappointment shape us has implications that reach beyond ourselves. The way you carry your disappointment effects the people around you more than you probably realize – for good or for bad. The one who’s learned to grieve honestly and hope anyway — who doesn't perform, and also doesn't let their pain become the storm everyone else has to endure — that kind of person gives the people around them a positive example of how to do the same.

+ Example Questions - a sample of the kind of practical questions and challenges you’d receive alongside your monthly letter

Think of a disappointment you're still carrying with you today. How long have you been carrying it? Have you ever shared it with anyone? Why or why not?

Consider what carrying it has cost you and how it's changed you. Then take some time over the next few weeks - perhaps with the help of a friend or professional guidance - to begin to grieve it, to begin coming to terms with what it was, and with what was not.
Are there any areas of your life where you've taught yourself to stop hoping for something? What caused you to make that shift? Was your response a display of wisdom or perhaps is it something you should reconsider? Is there anything you secretly hope for that your past disappointments are pressuring you to ignore?
Is there someone in your life who’s still dealing with a disappointment (whether recent or old)? Set aside some time this month to talk about it with them. The goal isn't to fix their problem or rush them through it, but to simply be there so they know they are not alone. You can either be direct and ask them about how they're doing with it, or you can ask a few questions that take a more general approach, but are still worth asking:
(1) Has anything disappointed you lately that you haven't shared or talked with anyone about?
(2) Is there something you've stopped hoping for? What happened that made you stop?
(3) What do you hope for now?

+ Occasional Paper Goods (up to $11 retail value)- photos that give you a taste of the types of paper goods we include in every other month's envelope. We'll include more photos in this section soon, but think 5x7" fine art prints, bookmarks, greetin cards, stickers, and more :)